Harry Potter V Twilight 5

i don't really like bellatrix (i did until she killed my sirius) but even after she killed my favorite fictional character EVER(and i have read and fallen in love with many many books) i still like her WAY more than bella who is just an annoying, bitchy, selfish, self centered,...*continues list for 13 days*..., MARY SUE of a character who should be ashamed to even call herself a published one! the whole story could be told in five sentences! I'm in love with a vampire, who sparkles and thirst for my blood. My 117 year old virgin vampire left me, which made me more boring then ever. I felt better when my shapeshifter(NOT A WEREWOLF IDIOTS) childhood friend continually dropped huge hints about how madly he was in love with me, while i repeatedly risked my life to see my vampire ex-boyfriend in my mind, then went to Italy to save him then he proposed to me. Some red headed chick is sane enough to want to kill me and I make out with my childhood friend even though I'm engaged then my fiance kills the red headed chick. I get married, finally have sex, give birth to a half vampire which almost kills me, name the kid Renesme, my best friend falls in love with her even though she was about10 minutes old and he's 16(nothing wrong there), then we plan for some giant war only to have it resolved by some amazon guy, then i have sex again. thats the whole story peeps. i saved you 3 days to 3 months of reading pure crap